JustBreathe

a magazine by HEALING HOTELS OF THE WORLD

  • Body
    • Health
    • Ayurveda
    • Detox
    • Anti-Stress
    • Beauty
    • Healing Water
    • Graceful Aging
    • Weight Loss
    • Fitness
    • Sleep
  • Mind
    • New Consciousness
    • Mindfulness
    • Meditation
    • Yoga
  • Soul
    • Spirituality
    • Food for Your Soul
    • Me-Time
  • Life
    • Holistic Lifestyle
    • Inspirational Podcasts
    • Inspiring People
    • Green Living
    • Charity
    • Design
  • Food
    • Nutrition
    • Recipes
  • Healing Hotels
Close
JustBreathe
Close
  • Body
    • Health
    • Ayurveda
    • Detox
    • Anti-Stress
    • Beauty
    • Healing Water
    • Graceful Aging
    • Weight Loss
    • Fitness
    • Sleep
  • Mind
    • New Consciousness
    • Mindfulness
    • Meditation
    • Yoga
  • Soul
    • Spirituality
    • Food for Your Soul
    • Me-Time
  • Life
    • Holistic Lifestyle
    • Inspirational Podcasts
    • Inspiring People
    • Green Living
    • Charity
    • Design
  • Food
    • Nutrition
    • Recipes
  • Healing Hotels

How to Cope When a Loved One is Gravely Ill

Mind, New Consciousness March 13, 2018 Nadia Campbell
How to Cope When a Loved One is Gravely Ill

© Jonathan Daniels

You’ve just been told by the doctors that your child has cancer – what now? How do you cope when a loved one is gravely ill?

This was the scenario my husband and I faced in 2013 when our eldest daughter was diagnosed with lymphoma and in the space of three short days, she went from being a school girl with a cough, to a cancer patient recovering from surgery.

So what now for our family of five?

The critical nature of our daughter’s condition meant she required immediate treatment, so in many ways we didn’t have time to think about how or why? Bibi was in the hands of the professionals now and they got to decide what would happen next – we her parents resigned to the role of ineffective bystanders.

Faced with this overwhelming feeling of helplessness and with no way of controlling the outcome, we decided that if we can’t protect Bibi from all the procedures she was going to face, then at least we could protect her from the environment, the language, the protocols – basically the world she had now been catapulted into.

We knew instinctively that Bibi’s ability to cope with her illness would depend on how she saw us coping.

Our plan

In order to protect Bibi, we determined that our days would not revolve around her medication and surgery, side-effects and blood counts – we would leave that to the doctors, instead we decided to create our own disease-free world and channel all our energy into lifting her spirits, keeping her distracted and reminding her she was a 15-year-old girl and not just a patient. That was our only plan – to normalize the abnormal and take the fear out of it.

So that is what we did, we created simple routines to give us some focus and to make each day the best it could be. So, Morning routines gave us a sense of purpose and bedtime routines eased the sorrow of being away from home.

Manicures and pedicures became a weekly treat.

We did family sleepovers at the hospital, a takeaway and a film an event. We never spoke about it, referred to it, or even said its name. Our only objective throughout this whole period was to ensure that Bibi never ever thought of herself as someone who was ill and would never ever think that she would not get better. This was not about being in denial; this was very much a conscious decision we made to focus our attention outwards.

 

Not extraordinary – nor exceptional

I would love to tell you we are an exceptional family, with extraordinary reserves of bravery and strength, but we aren’t. During our time at the Marsden we shared our ward with a host of families all going through exactly the same thing and coping in exactly the same way.

Even though you could see they were under a huge amount of strain and their son was gravely ill, their focus was on everything but his illness.

I remember the beautiful mum of two, who always bought her slow cooker in with her and busied herself in the communal kitchen while her youngest son scootered up and down the corridors, closely followed by his older brother wheeling the line he was attached to. Or the young parents who brought their shivering son into the TV room one afternoon laughing and joking with him, whilst tenderly wrapping him up in blankets, all the while diverting his attention with their talk of football and friends and what they were going to eat for dinner that night.

And perhaps most humbling of all, the young mum whose baby girl had been born with a hole in her heart and who had kept a bedside vigil ever since. On her own in a foreign country with no family or friends to call on she showed such concern and compassion towards us when we first arrived in ICU it took my breath away and still something I think about to this day.

 

Life does not pause

So what happens when you hear the words, ‘your child has cancer?’ Well in truth life goes on. Parents go to work even though they may have slept on a hospital floor the night before. Packed lunches are made, children are taken to school, parent’s evening appointments are kept, carol concerts attended to, clothes are washed, food is bought and hands are held while tubes are inserted and more drugs administered.

Don’t get me wrong, some days it would get the better of all of us.

Days upon days of watching our daughter unable to keep down food, unable to get out of bed, drugged up on morphine, covered in sores and in excruciating pain from a bout of shingles so severe she had to be hospitalized. Bibi was very ill, but she was still Bibi, Bibi who liked to paint her nails, watch films, and laugh and joke with her sisters. The same Bibi who still teased her dad, charmed the doctors and nurses with her gentle grace and determination and told me off for embarrassing her and making a fuss.

 

What to take from this experience

What I have learnt and continue to realise is that life is random and chaotic and despite our best efforts to control our world we can’t and perhaps we shouldn’t try.  I’ve lost family and friends to this dreadful disease and I know the outcome isn’t always positive.

We were lucky and I count my blessings every single day.

If I’ve taken anything from the experience it’s probably the thing I used to say to Bibi almost every day and that is this: “You might be stuck in a hospital right now, you might have a tube in your chest and a drip in your arm, you are certainly bald, in pain and are finding it difficult to eat. All these things are happening to you and you have no control over it, but what you can control is how you think about your situation. No one can control that.”

 

Leave A Comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Food for Your Soul – A Column

Autumn’s Gentle Embrace: A Guide to Seasonal Change

As autumn is slowly approaching, we can use this time of change and transition as a guide for our own inner self-care to reflect and grow. Read more →

Freedom Through Conscious Awareness

Let go of the past and learn how to embrace the present. This weeks column is a journey of reflection and conscious choice. Read more →

Let’s Talk About Death: Being on a Journey of Love and Loss

Claudia shares her thoughts on the sacredness of death and the importance of discussing death to overcome the fear and taboo surrounding it. Read more →

Newsletter Signup

* indicates required

justbreathemag

An online magazine by @healinghotels created to change minds, habits & hearts 💛
#HealingIsLove #Health #Wellbeing
Click below for all articles ⬇️

Just Breathe - A Wellbeing Magazine
Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfil Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment in all aspects of your being - mentally, physically, and spiritually. Prioritize self-care and take time to do things that bring you peace and happiness. Whether it's reading a book, going for a run, or practicing meditation, make sure to make time for yourself and your well-being.What’s the first thing that springs to mind, that makes you feel good?#SpiritualAwareness #ConsciousnessShift #RaiseYourFrequency #SpiritualMagazine #InnerSelf #WellbeingWarrior  #MotivationalQuoteOfTheDay #QuoteGram #QuotesToInspire #SpiritualQuotes #QuoteOfToday #JustBreatheMag #SelfCareJourney #SelfCarePractice #InnerPeace #MindBodySpirit #MindBodySoul #MindBodyConnection #HolisticHealing #JustBreatheMagazine #JustBreathe
While the International Day of Peace is a global i While the International Day of Peace is a global initiative, it is also an opportunity for individuals to reflect on their own lives and find inner peace. In today's fast-paced world, taking the time to reflect on our own inner peace can have a ripple effect on those around us and contribute to creating a more peaceful world.Holidays are undeniably a major contributor to your wellbeing; a seaside escape is often a welcome solace from the stresses of the working week. However, in your relaxed frame of mind it’s ever too easy to over-indulge on beach bar food, spend the entire trip on a sun-lounger and return home feeling surfeited, lethargic and worse for wear.Fortunately, resorts are now in line with a worldwide wellness tourism trend and beginning to offer all-encompassing, dedicated wellness packages that focus on the whole person.So next time you book your trip away – why not try a dedicated holistic wellness break with @healinghotels?Retreats featured: @theretreatcostarica @kamalayakohsamui @camiral_golfwellnesshttps://justbreathemag.com/healing-hotels/why-choose-a-dedicated-holistic-wellness-break#JustBreatheMagazine #SoulfulLiving #BodyMindSoul
Fall in love … with yourself! ❤️Happy Intern Fall in love … with yourself!
❤️Happy International World Heart Day! ❤️Love your life! Practicing self-love is not selfish, it's essential. It means taking the time to prioritize yourself, your needs, and your happiness. This can take the form of anything from:❤️Turning your phone off
❤️Journalling or meditating
❤️Taking a relaxing bath
❤️Indulging in your hobbies
❤️Spending time with loved onesThe world won’t end just because you turn off your mobile for a couple of hours. Your friends will still be your friends, even if you order pizza from the delivery store next door instead of preparing a full meal by yourself.What pleasure could you bring into your daily life today?Read today's article (link in bio) to feel inspired to live your life more joyfully.#JustBreatheMag #JustBreatheMagazine #JustBreathe #HealingIsLove #Wellbeing #InnerWork #SelfLoveJourney #SelfCareJourney #SelfCarePractice
#MindBodySoul #MindBodyConnection #HolisticHealing  #RaiseYourFrequency #SpiritualMagazine #InnerSelf  #HappinessIsAChoice
You have to try this Dairy-free Coconut Yoghurt re You have to try this Dairy-free Coconut Yoghurt recipe. The perfect concoction for those wanting that creamy dairy feelingAll you need is:
🥥2 young Thai coconuts, opened and flesh removed to yield about 1½ cups of flesh
🥥1¼ cups coconut water from the 2 coconuts you will open, so strain well
🥥1 teaspoon probiotic powderThe recipe:
🍶In a blender, puree the coconut meat and water until it is thick and creamy
🍶Stir in the probiotic and then transfer into a sterilised jar, seal
🍶Incubate in a dehydrator at 100 C for 4-6 hours
🍶Remove from dehydrator, allow to cool and then chill
🍶Use within 5 days
*Yields about 500 ml or more depending on how much flesh you get from your coconuts.🥞This dairy free coconut yoghurt tasted delicious with the Gluten-free Polenta pancakes we recently posted.👉 Save this post for later, or click the link in the bio for the recipe.#JustBreatheMag #JustBreatheMagazine #JustBreathe #HealingIsLove #Wellbeing #InnerWork #SelfLoveJourney #SelfCareJourney #SelfCarePractice #InnerPeace #MindBodySpirit #MindBodySoul #MindBodyConnection #HolisticHealing #SelfDevelopmentTools #SelfDevelopmentJourney #StressLess #StressManagement #BurnoutRecovery #DairyfreeRecipe
As the days grow shorter and the air turns crisper As the days grow shorter and the air turns crisper, the Northern Hemisphere enters a season of transformation. The vibrancy of summer gradually gives way to the warm and earthy tones of autumn, a time when nature herself invites us to pause, reflect, and realign our lives..Here are some practical tips to help you transition smoothly this season:
🍂 Prioritize self-care: Create a self-care routine that suits the season, such as taking warm baths scented with autumn-inspired essential oils or enjoying comforting autumn recipes. Wrap yourself in cozy shawls and blankets for added warmth and comfort.
🍂 Connect with nature: Go for leisurely walks in the park or countryside to witness the changing leaves and shifting landscapes. Making time for attunement and introspection.
🍂 Reflect and set intentions: Set aside a tranquil space for reflection and consider what you wish to release from the previous season and what you aspire to cultivate in the months ahead.
🍂 Declutter and organize: Donate items you no longer need, streamline your living environment, and cultivate a sense of order. A tidy space can promote clarity of thought and enable you to concentrate more effectively on your aspirations and goals.
🍂 Connect with your community: Attend gatherings, whether in-person or virtually, to sustain those vital connections. The act of sharing experiences and insights with others can be profoundly enriching and supportive during this time of change.⬇️Save these tips for later, or check out the most recent blog by @claudiaroth for a guide on embracing seasonal change. (link in bio)#InnerHarvest #AutumnMagic #SelfReflection #SeasonalTransition #AutumnMagic #SelfDiscovery #EmbraceChange #NatureInspired #PersonalGrowth #MindfulnessJourney #HarvestingDreams #EmbraceAutumn #HarvestSeason #TransformativeJourney #LifeAlignment #AuthenticLiving #WellnessWisdom #MindfulLiving #SoulfulTransition #AutumnInspiration #SelfCareRituals #CommunityConnection #ReflectAndGrow
Load More... Follow on Instagram

About JustBreatheMag

Just Breathe is an online magazine that was created to change minds, habits and hearts on the most important and current topics: health and wellbeing.

Powered by

Healing Hotels of the World Logo

Popular Tags

ageing anxiety Ayurveda balance beauty breath consciousness coronavirus detox diet DIY fear Fitness five elements gratitude happiness healing Healing Hotels HEALING SUMMIT health healthy nutrition inspiration intention Life lifestyle love me-time Meditation mental health mindfulness new year nutrition podcast recipe self-love self care sleep spirituality stress sustainability transformation Travel weight loss wellbeing yoga

Behind the Scenes

  • Article Submission
  • About Us
  • Contact

Newsletter Signup

* indicates required
Legal Info | Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions | Cookie Settings